Weaning

This is probably more than you want to know, but I feel like sharing.

I have been lucky enough to be able to breastfeed my daughter. I decided before she was born that it was just going to work. I wasn't going to read anything about bottle feeding or formula or supplementation.

Breastfeeding was really difficult in the beginning. I would say that it took a good 8-10 weeks for it to be a comfortable thing for me. There was cracking and bleeding and then a period of pain only on latch that lasted for several weeks and then went away. From the beginning I talked about doing child led weaning. I wanted this to be a journey for the both us, and something that I could give her for as long as she needed and wanted it.

Then January of this year came and I felt so done. We were only nursing at night before bed. It had been like that for at least a year. I felt antsy and uncomfortable. Then the daycare she was in said they were going to close and I had to decide what to do. I quit my job at the end of January, and we continued nursing because of the tumult in our lives. I was fine. I began to be comfortable again, but at the beginning of this month I had that strong I'm done feeling again.

I talked to Fiona and told her that I felt that my body was almost done making mama's milk and that she was such a big girl that I thought it was time for us to be done. We talked about how I could rub her back to help her fall asleep. I suggested we celebrate her being such a big girl. She said she wanted a party with cake, apples and Pirate's Booty and that she wanted to invite all of the moms, dads, kids and babies (our group of friends). So I chose last Saturday as the day for the party. We invited our friends and some family. For the week before the party, every night as we went to bed I reminded her that after Friday night we weren't going to have mama's milk anymore and that I would rub her back. Friday night came. She nursed briefly on both sides and said, "I'm all done. Would you rub my back mama?" She went right to sleep. That night when I got into bed I cried. I even thought briefly that I didn't need to follow through, but there was a very strong voice in me that said "Oh, yes, we are done."

Saturday came and we had a great party. We ate yummy food and had lemon cupcakes with whipped cream frosting. There was lots of talking, laughing and playing. There was almost no mention of what the party was for. Fiona's grandma brought her a beautiful paper crown that said "The Queen" on the front. She had a great time.

That night as we were reading bedtime stories I reminded her that we weren't having mama's milk anymore. She said, "That's right and you are going to rub my back to help me go to sleep." That is just what we did.

Sunday we went out to breakfast and she was wearing her crown. Someone asked if it was her birthday. She didn't understand that they were asking because of the crown. I said no, that she had had a weaning party yesterday. I was nervous. I know the average person in our society doesn't advocate extended nursing, but this woman seemed genuine in her congratulations.

Fiona asked at bedtime if she could have mama's milk. I said, "Nope, but I can rub your back and if your thirsty you have your sippy." She was fine with that.

Tonight she fell asleep in the car on the way home. When I got her into bed, she just rolled over and said, "Mama, would you start rubbing my back."

Weaning has worked, I guess. It hasn't been traumatic. There have been no tears shed on her part. I wanted her to be in control, but it takes two to nurse. I think we have done ok. I'm proud that I was able to give her what I did for so long. I'm proud of who she is and of who she will become. She's my strong girl, and I love her so much.

It's seven minutes after 10pm

on April the 17th and I am working on our taxes.

Now it is ten minutes past 11pm and I am done. Thank goodness.

I usually don't procrastinate doing taxes, but this year I decided to do them myself instead of going to H & R Block.

Please cross your fingers for me. I hope it will all be ok.

I'm an Intermediate Knitter (almost)

I had signed up for an intermediate knitting class a couple of weeks ago. The first class was tonight. I wouldn't say that it was earth shaking, but it was so good to be in a room with knitters and be trying out a couple of things. I knit my first cable. Woo Hoo! You never know, I might knit an Aran sweater for someone now. We also learned to do the Suspended Bind Off. It was pretty smooth. I didn't like the Cable Cast On as much though. It just felt kind of awkward.

Next week we will learn about intarsia and fair isle. I'm rather excited about fair isle. I want to try to knit Eunny's Anemoi mittens and her Endpaper mitts someday.

I've been reading up a storm. I finished Monstrous Regiment and liked it. I re-read Mort and The Fifth Elephant. Then off to the bookstore, where I bought Lords and Ladies and Pyramids. I've finished Lords and Ladies and am about halfway through Pyramids. All of the above are by Terry Pratchett.

I also picked up Marie Antoinette: The Journey by Antonia Fraser and The Islandman by Tomás O'Crohan. I'm enjoying both of them. There are sooooooooo many names to keep track of in the Marie Antoinette book, but it is nice to be reminded of the politics of the time, it helps to make things much clearer. The Islandman author's name caught my eye. I picked it up from the shelf and proceeded to read the first twenty pages while standing there. I can't explain what it is about it that is so interesting, maybe after I have read more I will have a better idea.

Hiatus

I've taken a bit of a blogging and knitting hiatus. A week and a half ago I knit an entire row wrong. 203 stitches to undo. I finally undid them, but then half of them are twisted so, now I have to untwist them. It really isn't that big of a deal, but I've been reading a lot instead. I've read Equal Rites, Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad and Hogfather. They are all Terry Pratchett novels, quick reads and very silly. I'm still listening to Vanity Fair when I do knit. Librivox.org is such a wonderful thing. Yesterday I started reading Monstrous Regiment, another Terry Pratchett and The Prestige by Christopher Priest.

The most exciting thing is that I have started spring cleaning/reorganizing. It is always daunting because we are not very good housekeepers and there are two cats, a dog, a 3 year old and two untidy adults.

I'm supposed to meet some friends at the zoo in twenty minutes, so I guess I had better go. Sometimes I find it easier to write the blog as if it were a letter or email to someone.